Homesickness – Come Home To Yourself!
Homesickness – Come home to yourself!
By Elmarie van Heerden – LifeWorks Personal Development Trainer
What is homesickness?
Homesickness can be compared with ‘having the blues’. We tend to have negative thoughts about ourselves and our circumstances, feeling that we are “out there in the cold”, leading us to belief that we will only be happy if we are elsewhere. Being homesick implies that we are not mindful of where we are at the present moment. We are existing either in the past or the future.
A depressed mood like feeling homesick, is a temporary altered mood. It is far from the DSM 1V criteria for major depressive disorder. MDD includes a depressed mood lasting for at least 2 weeks AS WELL AS impaired functioning on a social, occupational or educational level. Furthermore, at least 5 of the following 9 symptoms must be present on a daily basis:
1. Depressed mood or irritable most of the day, nearly every day (e.g., feels sad or empty) or observation made by others (e.g., appears tearful).
2. Decreased interest or pleasure in most activities, most of each day
3. Significant weight change (5%) or change in appetite
4. Change in sleeping pattern
5. Change in activity: psychomotor agitation or retardation
6. Fatigue or loss of energy
7. Guilt/worthlessness: feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt
8. Concentration: diminished ability to think or concentrate, or more indecisiveness
9. Suicidality: Thoughts of death or suicide, or has suicide plan.
Clinically depressed people can experience homesickness, but not all homesick people are clinically depressed.
Why do a lot of expats feel homesick around Christmas time?
Homesickness is more intensely experienced over festive times. We naturally want to be with our loved ones, our friends and family. These feelings are heightened when we see other peoples’ profiles on Facebook and smiling groups of people on Instagram. We assume that everyone is having fun and warmly nestled in sharp contrast with us, far away and isolated.>
Our deepest psychological fear is to be abandoned, accompanied by feelings of loneliness. Our need to want to belong is heightened over the festive season.
Earning a living in the UAE can be challenging as it is, but more so if we are confronted with festive lights, Christmas trees and exhibited gifts, cards and festive foods – the traditional turkey, for one! The contrast between our blue and grey aura and the red, gold and silver of festive decorations that confronts us everywhere, is very visible (in our faces) indeed.
Most of us fill our time with work, and that can alienate us from our self awareness. Work expands to fill the time available. When work demands decrease, and more time is available, our blues are more in our face.
We not only miss our family and friends, but also the traditions of our childhoods.
What can we do to work through these feelings and try and enjoy the festive season?
We cannot go home to our family, but we can come home to ourselves. The choice is thus to accept the here and now instead of fighting it. What we resist, persists.
When we accept our present situation, we can step into our own power and from a level of being content, reach out to our loved ones by means of the social media. We can still send the traditional card, the long overdue letter and let everyone know that we are here now, and make the most of it. We did in any case chose to be here in the UAE, and with it, comes privileges – earning an income; gaining experience; exposure to diverse cultures and gaining self-knowledge – a greater sense of who we really are, which is not so obvious if we are in the presence of our loved ones who define us.
We always have a choice. We can choose to focus on what we miss out on and as a result feel lonely, questioning the point of everything and experience a temporary loss of care about ourselves. This will result in feelings of listlessness and feeling blue.
Homesickness causes the fibers that hold us to be really thin and fragile.
We can strengthen them by weaving in some colourful beads. What I call beads, is really actions, and actions absorbs homesickness.
Bead 1 :
Talk. Talk to a friend about how you feel. Take the plunge and talk to the person you have unfinished business with. It may be a little embarrassing to re-open the subject, but giving up a little pride is a small cost to pay for strengthening the fibers of your emotional health.
Bead 2 :
Change. Do boring things differently. Find another route, spice up your food, drink more water – add lemon slices or dunk in a freshly cut strawberry and crushed mint leaves.
Bead 3 :
Look good! Get out of your PJ’s as soon as you are out of bed. To dress and take care of your body, will enhance your mood. (A woman once told me that she touches-up her make-up and hair before making an important phone call because her confidence will be enhanced and it will be projected in her voice.)
Bead 4 :
Exercise, even if you don’t feel like it. Just do it. The “feel good hormones” that is released in your blood through exercise, is such a mood-enhancer that you will want to reach for your trainers.
Bead 5 :
Listen to a piece of energetic music for at least 5 minutes – anything that will get you tapping your feet.
Bead 6 :
Journal. It is therapeutic to write your thoughts down. Look at it later and re-frame it to be more rational. This will bring perspective.
Bead 7 :
The blues can cloud our vision. We therefore need to move out of our home and broaden our view. Look around – dare to smile at someone with a serious expression. Give way to another driver. Pay someone a compliment. It takes nothing to spread a little kindness. It goes a long way – and then completes its cycle by coming right back to you!
Bead 8 :
Laugh. Watch a silly movie and avoid depressing, serious ones. It will do you no harm to avoid watching the news for a few days.
Bead 9 :
Read. There are wonderful ‘feel good’ books on the market. One that I particularly enjoyed was Jonas Jonasson’s “The hundred year old man who climbed through the window and disappeared”.
Bead 10 :
Know that also this, the homesickness, will pass. You will not forever be blue – there are rhythms and seasons; movement throughout life.
Something to hold onto:
You can kiss your family and friends goodbye and put miles between you, but at the same time, you carry them with you in your heart, your mind and your stomach because you do not just live in a world, but a world lives in you. (F Buchner)
If you would like to talk, feel free to reach out to us. An LifeWorks therapist would be able to help.
I’m Dr. Saba Aslam, Licensed Clinical Psychologist at LifeWorks. I have more than seven years of experience working in this field with all age groups as children, adolescents, adults and older.
I have worked with the patients having diverse mental health issues as stress, depression, anxiety, emotional behavioral problems, anger issues, intellectual disability, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, autism spectrum disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, interpersonal relationship problems, self-esteem issues, decreased self-confidence, or trust issues, adjustment problems, stress and coping related to developmental changes and physical or sexual abuse in children or adolescents.
I am proficient in using protective techniques, IQ tests, personality tests and other psychological and neurodevelopmental assessment protocols. I prefer to combine elements of various approaches, including humanistic, psychoanalytic/ psycho dynamic, gestalt, cognitive behavioral therapy, behavior modification, social skills trainings, dialectical behavior therapy and applied behavior analysis.
Education and Training:
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PhD Clinical Psychology.
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MS/M. Phil Clinical Psychology.
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CBT Certification: Cognitive Behavior Therapy Practitioner Course.
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Two Research Rewards for Excellent Research Publications
Qualifications and Memberships:
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Dubai Health Authority Licensed Psychologist (DHA)
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CBT Certification: Cognitive Behavior Therapy Practitioner Course.
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Member American Psychological Association # C2203825762
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Member Australian & New Zealand Mental Health Association (ANZMH)
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Member International Society of Substance Use Professionals (ISSUP).
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Member Pakistan Association of Clinical Psychology (PACP).
Languages:
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English, Urdu, Hindi
About
Raised and educated in Italy, Dr. Lorena is a highly experienced Cognitive Behavioural Clinical Psychologist-Psychotherapist. She achieved her 5 years Bachelor/Master Degree in Clinical Psychology at Padua University (Italy) and further she completed her professional profile with a 4 Years Master Specialization in Como (Italy) at the Post Bachelor Specialization School in Cognitive Therapy.
She also has a Master in Counselling at Brescia University (Italy) and completed level 1 and 2 training in EMDR.
She has been working as a Psychologist /Psychotherapist for 20 years in both Public, Private Hospitals and outpatients clinics.
In addition to her clinical skills experience, Dr Lorena has had an extensive involvement in teaching, clinical research and publications in different fields such as Binge Eating Disorders and Psychological Rehabilitation after heart attack.
After moving to Dubai in 2012 Dr. Lorena got a DHA Licence as Clinical Psychologist and provides psychological treatments in a wide range of mental health and emotional issues.
Qualifications
- Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology-University of Padua(Italy)
- Postgraduate degree in Cognitive Therapy – Postgraduate School of Como (Italy)
- Postgraduate degree in Counselling-University of Brescia (Italy)
- EMDR- level 1 and 2
- Couple Therapy Gottman Method -Level1
- Member of Italian Society of Psychologists-Pychotherapists – Lombardy Region
- Member of CBT–Italy
- Dubai Health Authority Licence
Expertise
- Anxiety Disorders ( Panic attack, Generalized Anxiety, Social Phobia, Specific Phobia , Obsessive Compulsive Disorders)
- Mood Disorders ( Major Depression , Post partum Depression, Cyclothymia, Dysthymia) Adjustment Disorders
- Personality Disorders (Narcissistic Personality Disorder. – Avoidant PD- Dependent PD.)
- Eating Disorders -Anorexia-Bulimia- Binge Eating Disorder
- Relational Difficulties
- Worry and Rumination
- Workplace stress and burnout
- Self- esteem
- Parent training
- Post -Traumatic Stress Disorder
- Coping with Emotional and psychological problems during Covid19
Therapies
- Cognitive Behavioural Therapy ( third wave approach)
- Post-Rationalism Cognitive Therapy approach
- Attachment theory approach
- Mindfulness Approaches
- EMDR
- Marital/couple Therapy ( Gottman approach)
About
Maryam has master’s degree in Relationship therapist and has been working in the Mental Health field since 2009. She believes that therapy is a collaborative process and she kindly guides clients to increase self-awareness, gain new perspectives, decrease symptoms, and increase personal strengths to have a more meaningful life experience.
Throughout her career, Maryam has worked with adults, adolescents, and children, across various settings, including private practice and outpatient primary care clinics, in Netherlands and UAE. She has been working as a psychologist in UAE since 2013.
Maryam has extensive experience in applying various Social worker including Neurofeedback therapy, ABA (behavior) therapy, Counseling and relationship therapy.
In her clinical practice, Maryam helps the individuals t
- Manage their moods and emotions
- Process anxiety
- Reduce levels of general distress and discomfort
- Increase attention and the ability to focus
- Improvement of memory
- Treatment of headache and migraine
Maryam uses a warm, empathetic approach to create a safe and nonjudgmental space where clients can learn, grow, and achieve their goals. She makes sure to offer flexibility, meet the individuals where they are, and have patience to help each individual feel secure throughout the process. She always encourages open communication regarding the course of therapy and goal achievement.
Education
- Master of Relationship therapist/System therapy VU University, Amsterdam
- Bachelor of Social Work (BSW), Hogeschool University of Holland, Enschede
- Neurofeedback therapist
Board Certifications:
- Community Development Authority License (CDA), Dubai, UAE
- Certificate of completion the Biofeedback and Neurofeedback of New York.
Languages
- English
- Dutch
- Persian
- German
About
Ritasha Varsani is a CDA licensed Psychologist practicing in Dubai. She has an experience of over ten years in providing psychotherapy to a diverse population in a mental health settings in India and United States. She has been professionally trained from USA and her expertise lies in Marriage, Family and Child Therapy. She offers problem solving insights with evidence based therapies to clients giving them the strength to express themselves and promotes equal privilege is what she believes in.
“Empathy and sensitivity is key to connecting with people on a human level”. I support my clients by cultivating the ability and demonstrating with authenticity, vulnerability and honesty and increase their sense of their own well being. As a result of her approachable, non-judgmental and compassionate attitude her clients feel safe in addressing and overcoming developmental challenges, psychological obstacles and traumatic life experiences.
Her Therapeutic Approach
Ritasha uses an integrative approach by incorporating interpersonal and psychodynamic principles and evidence based therapies such as Cognitive behavior therapy, motivational interviewing, narrative therapy, compassion focused therapy, solution focused therapy, family therapy. She takes a client centered and culturally competent approach to facilitate progress and change by quality of care and moving through the journey of recovery. Her age range of clients varies from preschool kids to adolescents, individuals and couples/ families providing therapeutic interventions in individual and group settings.
Specialization:
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Marital and family Disputes
- Personality Disorders
- Anger Management
- Bereavement
- Premarital guidance
- Self identity and life transition issues
- Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ( OCD )
- Trauma and stressor-related disorders
- Mindfulness
- Psycho education Qualifications and Memberships
- Bachelor of Arts in Psychology – St Xavier’s College, Ahmedabad
- Masters in Psychology with a concentration in Marriage & Family Therapy – San Francisco, USA
- Certificate of Introduction to Compassion Focused Therapy – NHS, London
- Certificate of Applying Hope to Couple Therapy – American Psychological Association
- Member of American Psychological Association, International Affiliate ( APA )
- Member of Middle Eastern Psychology Association ( MEPA )
Education
- Bachelor of Arts in Psychology – St Xavier’s College, Ahmedabad
- Masters in Psychology with a concentration in Marriage & Family Therapy – San Francisco, USA
- Certificate of Introduction to Compassion Focused Therapy – NHS, London
- Certificate of Applying Hope to Couple Therapy – American Psychological Association
- Member of American Psychological Association, International Affiliate ( APA )
- Member of Middle Eastern Psychology Association ( MEPA )
Languages
- English
- Hindi
- Gujarati
About
Safia Ali Malik is DHA licensed Clinical Psychologist with comprehensive knowledge and understanding on different therapeutic techniques. Compassionate, dedicated and empathetic with clients. Experience of working with clients with different needs and nationalities with utmost cultural sensitivity. Excel at providing adolescents and adults with individual psychotherapy to help them facilitate their social and personal growth and allow them to lead more meaningful and fulfilling lives.
She specializes in psychological and educational assessments and provides individual, family and group therapies.
Her Therapeutic Approach
Psychometric and Psychological assessment, Cognitive therapy, Group therapy, individual therapy, Management, Dialectic Behaviour therapy, Solution Focused and Problem solving Approaches depending on the need of the client.
Specialization:
- Behavioural Disorders
- Anxiety Management
- Psychometric Assessment
- Cognitive problems
- Coping skills
- Grief therapy
- Mindfulness
- OCD and PTSD.
Education
- Masters in Psychology from Government College University Lhr, Pakistan.
- Post Graduate Diploma in Child and adult Psychotherapy from Government College University Lhr, Pakistan.
- Graduation in Psychology from Punjab university Lhr, Pakistan.
Languages
- English
- Urdu (Hindi)
Corina has her master’s degree in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and has been working in the Mental Health field since 2007. She believes that therapy is a collaborative process and she kindly guides clients to increase self-awareness, gain new perspectives, decrease symptoms, and increase personal strengths to have a more meaningful life experience.
Throughout her career, Corina has worked with adults, adolescents, and children, across various settings, including private practice and outpatient primary care clinics, in Romania, Spain and UAE. She has been working as a psychologist in the Emirates since 2017, in Abu Dhabi and Dubai. Her last position was in a children’s medical center, where she had helped families overcome various challenges, such as anxiety, depression, challenging behaviors and OCD, to name a few.
Corina has extensive experience in applying various empirically-supported Cognitive Behavioral Therapies (CBT), including Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), Solution Focused Brief therapy (SFBT), Trauma Focused CBT (TF-CBT) and Motivational Interviewing (MI).
In her clinical practice, Corina delivers evidence-based treatments to individuals facing a wide range of emotional, behavioral and adjustment problems, such as:
- Anxiety Disorders
- Anger and Stress Management
- Behavioral Challenges
- Depression
- PTSD
- Self-Harm Behavior
- Grief and Loss
- Obsessive- Compulsive Disorder
- Trauma
- Family and Relationship Challenges
- Low Self Esteem
- Suicide prevention
Corina uses a warm, empathetic approach to create a safe and nonjudgmental space where clients can learn, grow, and achieve their goals. She makes sure to offer flexibility, meet the individuals where they are, and have patience to help each individual feel secure throughout the process. She always encourages open communication regarding the course of therapy and goal achievement.
Education:
- Master Degree in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Bucharest, Romania
- Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology, Bucharest, Romania
Board Certifications:
- Community Development Authority License (CDA), Dubai, UAE
- Romanian College of Psychologists, Bucharest, Romania
Languages:
English, Romanian, Spanish
About
Dr.Marwa Abd El Hamid is a certified and trained psychologist with over 16 years of experience working in different countries in a variety of settings. She Specializes in Clinical and Educational Psychology. She has been associated with large hospitals, schools and corporate clients in UAE, Saudi Arabia, and Egypt in conducting sessions on various mental health issues including stress management, parenting and child development, and mindfulness for holistic wellbeing.
As a professional psychologist, she is continually inspired by people’s ability especially she believes deeply that the people themselves are the real experts in their own lives.
Her therapeutic approach
Cognitive behavioral therapy, Dialectic behavior therapy, Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, Solution Focused on compassion based therapy, Gestalt Therapy, Psychoanalysis, Existential therapy as well as Psychodrama and group therapy based on the needs of the client.
Areas of Specialization for Children
- Kids & Special needs (play therapy).
- Dealing with Autism – Asperger – Down syndrome using (PECS –TEACCH –HELP –LOVAAS-INTEGRATION-PORTAGE).
- Skills development.
- Childhood Emotional disorders.
- Behavioral Problems.
- Attention difficulties.
- Developmental learning difficulties.
- Cognitive difficulties.
- Difficulties of remembering.
- Difficulties in conceptual formation.
- Difficulty solving problems.
Professional Experience
- Adjustments to life transitions like adoption, bereavement, divorce, relocation.
- Mood disorders like depression, and Bipolar disorders.
- Low self-esteem.
- Body image issues.
- Anxiety disorders like phobias, panic, OCD and PTSD.
- Pre-marital counseling and couples counseling.
- Family Conflict Therapy.
- Trauma.
- Addictions.
- Anger and stress.
- Career decisions and work-life balance.
- Mindfulness for the holistic wellbeing.
- She has also worked with Kids with special needs.
Education
- Ph.D. in psychology Ain-Shams University.
- Master in Educational Psychology Ain-Shams University.
- Special diploma in Mental Health Alexandria University.
- Professional diploma in Special Education Alexandria University.
- Educational Diploma in Education at Alexandria University.
Board Certifications or equivalent
- Community Development Authority (CDA), Dubai.
Languages
- Arabic
- English
About
Dr. Sravani Behara, is Specialist Psychiatrist, MBBS ; MD, MRCPsych (UK) and Medical Director at LifeWorks Holistic Counselling Centre. She is experienced in managing mental health conditions across all age groups in both OP, IP settings using various pharmacological and psychological approaches.
She has also worked as an Asst. Professor in a 650 bedded tertiary care teaching hospital (Nimra Institute of Medical Sciences, India) for more than three years and one year in a Government Medical College (Siddhartha Medical college, India). He has extensive experience in handling child guidance, geriatric, de-addiction, general adult clinics.
Areas of expertise include:
- Anxiety disorders (Generalised anxiety, panic disorder)
- Phobias (social and specific phobias)
- Obsessive and compulsive disorders
- Puerperal disorders (postpartum blues, postpartum depression)
- Affective disorders (depression, BPAD, mania)
- Psychosis (schizophrenia and acute psychotic conditions)
- Stress related disorders(PTSD)
- Substance abuse disorders (alcohol, tobacco, cannabis)
- Eating disorders (anorexia and bulimia nervosa)
- Personality disorders (schizoid, borderline)
- Child psychiatry (ADHD, Autistic spectrum and bedwetting)
- Conversion disorders
- Neuropsychiatry
Qualifications & Memberships
- MBBS, MD (Psychiatry)
- DHA licensed
Languages
- English
- Hindi
- Telugu
FaQ’s
- Who is a psychiatrist? Psychiatry is the branch of medicine that is concerned with the diagnosis, treatment, and prevention of mental, emotional and behavioral disorders. A psychiatrist is a physician who specializes in mental health, including substance and other addictions.
- When should I see a psychiatrist? You should see a psychiatrist suffering from:
– Finding it hard to cope with the death of a loved one.
– Tension and anxiety and depression
– Phobias and Worthlessness
– Family and Relationship Problems
– Performance enhancement and Lack of concentration
– Chronic sadness and Guilt
– Irritability and Fatigue
- What are the major diseases that psychiatrists treat?
Psychiatrist treat disorders like anxiety disorders, depressive disorders, obsessive-compulsive and related disorders, trauma- and stressor-related disorder, sexual dysfunctions and gender dysphoria, substance-related and addictive disorders, and schizophrenia.
- Difference between a psychologist and a psychiatrist?
Psychologists focus on psychotherapy and treating emotional and mental suffering with behavioral intervention. Psychologists are also qualified to conduct psychological testing but in most cases, cannot prescribe medications to their patients.
- What happens in your first appointment with a psychiatrist?
The first appointment with a psychiatrist is usually one hour long. During your meeting, your psychiatrist listens to you talk about your concerns and symptoms, asks questions about your general health, asks about your family history, takes your blood pressure and do a basic physical check-up and might asks you to fill out a questionnaire.
About
Dr. Bassem Hamed Mohamed Badr is an Egyptian Consultant Psychiatrist and Fellow of American Psychiatric Association, with 25 years of experience. He graduated from Alexandria University in 1993 with MBBch in Medicine, he then went to on to complete further education with a Diploma of Psychiatry and Addiction Practice, Master of Science in Neuropsychiatry, Diploma in Mental Health, Diploma in Hospital Administration and then ultimately received his Medical Doctorate in Psychiatry in 2008 at the University of Suez Canal in Egypt. He is also licensed as Aeromedical examiner: GCAA, General Civil Aviation Authority
Dr Bassem Badr provides comprehensive care for patients of all ages. He believes that the best outcomes are achieved through a combination of professional excellence and an empathic approach. As an expert in the field of general and adult psychiatry, he adopts an approach that is based on a combination of the psyche, the soma, and the spirit through both scientific and philosophical overviews.
Professional Experience
Not only has Dr. Bassem worked in Senior Roles in Hospitals in Dubai, Kuwait, and Egypt but he has also been a Lecturer and Professor at several Educational Institutes, a peer to peer speaker and a coordinator for various addiction treatment programs. He has contributed to scientific research in a number of medical journals. He is also a talented writer in the field of social and psychological problems and has had many publications in reputable newspapers and magazines.
Areas of Specialization
- Depression
- Grief
- Adjustment disorders
- Sleeping and eating disorders
- Panic attacks and anxiety disorder
- Obsessive compulsive disorders
- Schizophrenia
- Personality disorders
- Substance use and drug addiction
- Marital and sexual disorders
- Manic depressive disorder
- Dementia
- Cognitive disorders
- Memory disturbance
- Phobias
- Bipolar diseases